The nature of friendship

In my last post, I talked about the nature of change and how I haven't seen most of my class-mates since 1985. I have stayed in contact with a few, but by and large, my deep friendships started when I left school. However, it was at school that I met one of my closest and dearest friends. She stayed only a year, but during that year a friendship formed that has " looked upon tempests, and is not shaken", in the immortal words of William Shakespeare (Sonnet 116). 

She lives halfway around the world from me, in Canada. We stayed in touch sporadically after she went back, but that thread holding us together always remained firm. 11 years ago I tried to find her. I was going through a divorce, and I yearned to reconnect with her. I couldn't find her. I tried a lot of things, but she remained elusive. 

Five years later, in 2009, she found me. Our thread was still connected! When I opened up the e-mail from her, I immediately burst into tears. It was a moment of such emotion that I was overwhelmed by it. We have managed to stay in touch ever since, and thanks to the marvels of modern technology, can speak to each other, text each other or like a post on Facebook. 

I have that thread with very few other people. Some because I have never lost touch with them, so the thread never tightens. Others because that is not the nature of our friendship. 

Today I felt the tug of the thread again. I worked on a project in Poland in 2011, and met someone who became one of my best friends. He supported me in my dark days, and I supported him during his. We were geographically apart, but never more than a call or text away from each other. He married, had children and moved to Australia, and slowly, as one does, we lost touch. This morning, his birthday, we chatted for over 4 hours. It was as if we had never stopped talking. We slipped back into our friendship like a comfy pair of slippers. 

Friendship is one of the most important things you can ever experience. It nourishes us, and the delight of hearing from old friends is measureless. 

I am not one for resolutions. I like lists, remember. But I am making a promise to myself that I will keep in contact with more of my friends who are far away. Just because we don't see each other often (sometimes for years) doesn't mean that we can't be in each other's lives. No-one is ever too busy to type up a few lines to say "my friend, how are you?". Life is fleeting, and one day I might be sorry that I didn't do it more often.